none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
