U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We are two peas in an std pod
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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