So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
