so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
