yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
