Where is the hickey?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
