btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
