Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize