Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
