So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need to align my fucking chakras
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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