My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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