i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
