giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
