She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
