The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize