mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Boobs are out for the taking
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
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