I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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