The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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