I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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