ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
