But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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