Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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