pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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