So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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