He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
