Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
