I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
