The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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