This is not my ceiling
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
