Don't you send me to vm
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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