Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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