Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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