This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
