don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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