he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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