so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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