I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
