woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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