worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize