I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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