Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
