uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
