5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
