So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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