So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
