I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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