Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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