John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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