Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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