it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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