five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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