Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
