This is not my ceiling
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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