remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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