just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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