Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
