I wannas sexs uuuuu
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
