Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize