Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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