She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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