If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
