Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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