Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
