I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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