thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
