So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
